What's in a Bottle of Air?
Have you ever said "I need to get out and get some fresh air", but the air outside was worse? Now you can have the freshest air there is. Just go to your freezer, pop the top on one of our bottles and inhale deeply the freshness of Alaska. Keep a case of bottles on hand so you never run out.
Experience Fresh Alaskan Air.
When you can't travel to Alaska we will bring it to you. Imagine the thrill of catching it wild and whisking it off to you in a bottle so you can experience this rare commodity. When you walk outside in Alaska at 20 below zero the wilderness fresh, clean Alaskan air is so cold and it snaps you into alertness. Imagine keeping a bit of this available for any time the smog starts to overwhelm you. Fresh air. This is what Alaskans live for!
Yes, there are incidental factors of frontier living, raising your children with their school sports for the hockey mom. So close to nature, a 30 minute drive, a 10 minute flight or an hour boat ride puts you well beyond the remnants of civilization, where the air is the cleanest and most refreshing. This is the air to bottle: the wild caught Alaskan air.
It is unbelievable what we charge for this premium product. But when you consider the thought of capturing air in Alaska and bottling it, our regular line of product is actually quite reasonable at $9.95 plus shipping and handling. You can't be there otherwise you'd bottle it yourself.
Now our signature lines are another matter. There are some special occasions when we seek to go to even greater extremes to the more remote and inaccessible areas to capture connoisseur flavors just for you. The precious locations include glaciers, high mountains, remote lakes or pristine waterways, isolated villages and even on Mount Denali, where you get air for the discerning taste that is extra dry, biter cold, pale air or salty.
Our signature brands bottled in these precious locations are specially released limited editions with numbered bottles. Some people find these priceless and even collect them as you would baseball cards or comic books. You can go to our products page to choose your bottles from our available assortment when these are made available.
Bear in mind that 5 cents of every bottle sold is set aside to help fund the anticipated Great Alaskan Air Duct, that your purchase backs up the movement to get the air of Alaska to the South 48 in huge quantities in a surprise move that only we have known about so far.
Christmas Only Comes Once a Year.
So does Hanukkah. For that special gift for a friend or family member or someone who has everything get them a Fresh Alaskan Air flask.
Not All Air Is the Same.
Don't be fooled by any cheap imitations or attempted look-a-likes. Order from us as we are the original. Also, cities are cities, even in Alaska. In the high density population and busy traffic of Los Anchorage the air can, at times of busy traffic, multiple bus lines and diligent truckers approximate the smog levels of Los Angeles.
In Alaska when you need to get out you don't have to go very far to experience the vast land and the freshest air you may ever have experienced. You can trust that Alaskan air is genuinely clean fresh wilderness air. (There are exceptions as in where the bears hang out to do their thing in the woods.) When the air where you are feels that way this is the time to pull a Fresh Alaskan Air bottle out of your freezer and pop the cork.
All Other Airs are Palin' to be Like the North Country.
The smog ridden polluted air of the cities pales against the captured clean air of this truly remote land. Your friends will be impressed at the extremes you are willing to go to for your healthy organic living.
Little known to mainland America is that Wasilla, Alaska is a great place to experience the fresh air of Alaska. Why Wasilla? It is just outside of the high density population of Anchorage and is where you cross over into the raw wilderness. We want you to think of this as not some unheard of little town in Alaskan but as a thriving modern city engaged in industrial bottling.
The Great Alaskan Airduct.
The Governor has been promoting to build an Alaskan Gas Line from the North Slope to the Lower 48. This is an excellent opportunity to pork belly the development of Alaska's resource even greater then oil and gas: the air.
Since there will be corridor built for the gas line it is a very simple matter to lay alongside it a large air duct to bring air to the States in quantity. This will be very simple technology. Cold air sinks down. If you will look on a map you will see that Alaska is up and the 48 states is down, below that. The air will flow from Alaska to the states then with no prompting. You could even put turbine fan blades on the southern end and generate electricity.
The air will be cold but that is good for global warming - warm the planet off. There will be more snow and so create jobs for snow plow drivers. This is all so good a proposition we will set aside 5 cents on each bottle of Fresh Alaskan Air sold towards funding the Great Alaskan Airduct. When you buy now you will be supporting our efforts towards that great humanitarian cause.
Developed from Think Tank Ingenuity.
FreshAlaskanAir.blogspot.com is a product of the think tank inventions laboratories of Gisel Creations, brought to you in fun. Of course you will receive your order of a bottle empty of anything but air; the point is we hope to maka you laugh.
Disclaimer: We don't even warranty that you will laugh and all claims real or imagined about the air is jocular and only a fool would take it seriously.
Technical fact: Humor works to improve life and is a sort of therapy all by itself. Perhaps you've observed that if you can get someone feeling poorly to start laughing hard, then he doesn't feel so bad. We believe the activity of FreshAlaskanAir.blogspot.com will bring this about to make people happier and do better from the experience of humor. At least we try.
Future: With the launch of this product we expect to support expansion in our other more serious inventions inventory. Our creations encompass household, electronic, automotive and architectural inventions. There is no limit to ideas; the real performance lies in execution. As Edison said, "Genius is 2% inspiration and 98% perspiration." We can certify that with the economy the way it is we are perspiring.
Gisel Creations Laboratories
5125 Hollywood Blvd Ste 12
Hollywood, CA 90029